1 00:00:01,681 --> 00:00:03,689 Charles, this is exciting. 2 00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:06,123 - Medal of valor. - I know. 3 00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:07,224 For getting shot in the butt. 4 00:00:09,361 --> 00:00:12,396 Oh, my butt! 5 00:00:12,397 --> 00:00:13,898 For exceptional acts of heroism 6 00:00:13,899 --> 00:00:15,799 or voluntary risk of personal safety. 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,434 But, you know, six of one. 8 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:19,904 This is one of the NYPD's highest honors. 9 00:00:19,905 --> 00:00:23,774 Today is your day, Detective Boyle. 10 00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:25,976 Heroism can't be measured by a piece of metal. 11 00:00:25,977 --> 00:00:27,177 But what else can we do 12 00:00:27,212 --> 00:00:29,213 to recognize the brave officers 13 00:00:29,214 --> 00:00:31,181 that have put their lives on the line? 14 00:00:31,216 --> 00:00:34,285 It is my great honor to present the medal of valor 15 00:00:34,286 --> 00:00:38,122 to Detective Charles Boyle... 16 00:00:38,156 --> 00:00:40,424 And sergeant peanut butter. 17 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,434 Oh, my God. 18 00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:52,036 Charles is getting the same medal as a horse. 19 00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:54,171 At least Boyle was announced first. 20 00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:55,806 Because the horse outranks him. 21 00:00:55,807 --> 00:00:57,007 This is amazing. 22 00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:58,742 That's enough, Peralta. 23 00:00:58,777 --> 00:00:59,977 This is a huge honor, 24 00:00:59,978 --> 00:01:01,412 and nothing can take that away from him. 25 00:01:01,446 --> 00:01:03,414 The horse is pooping on the stage. 26 00:01:03,415 --> 00:01:05,382 Sergeant peanut butter is pooping on the stage. 27 00:01:06,418 --> 00:01:10,226 Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD 00:01:37,881 And you said you were born that way. 35 00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:39,082 Twist my words all you want. 36 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,584 Okay. I'm winning this bet. 37 00:01:40,585 --> 00:01:41,718 - No. - What bet? 38 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:42,719 What are you guys talking about? 39 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,288 Seriously? The bet? 40 00:01:44,322 --> 00:01:45,722 They've been keeping score all year. 41 00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:46,723 It comes up all the time. 42 00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,425 What are you doing all day? 43 00:01:48,426 --> 00:01:50,327 Nothing. Why, you wanna hang out? 44 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,262 A year ago today, Peralta and I made a bet 45 00:01:52,263 --> 00:01:53,931 to prove who's a better Detective. 46 00:01:53,932 --> 00:01:56,400 Whoever makes more felony arrests, wins. 47 00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:57,768 What are the stakes? 48 00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:00,570 And don't say money, because I know you're in debt. 49 00:02:00,605 --> 00:02:02,539 If you really knew anything about me, 50 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,941 you would've said "crushing debt," 51 00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:05,175 and I'll bet whatever, 52 00:02:05,176 --> 00:02:06,410 'cause there's no way I'm losing. 53 00:02:06,444 --> 00:02:08,645 What about your car? Oh! 54 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,047 That thing is a date magnet. 55 00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:12,449 I mean, how many girls have you made out with in that car? 56 00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:15,118 Six? Well, I'm gonna win, so sure. 57 00:02:15,119 --> 00:02:17,154 Let's bet the car. 58 00:02:17,188 --> 00:02:18,322 Yes. 59 00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:19,356 No, Jakey, no! 60 00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:20,757 That car is your superpower. 61 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,693 Thor would never wager his hammer. 62 00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:25,262 Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship. 63 00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:26,430 Losing that car will be the worst thing 64 00:02:26,431 --> 00:02:27,497 in the world for you. 65 00:02:27,498 --> 00:02:28,498 Well, what's the worst thing 66 00:02:28,499 --> 00:02:30,100 in the world for you, Santiago? 67 00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:31,969 Being one of those girls in Jake's car. 68 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,303 Okay, okay, okay. 69 00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:34,771 Then it is settled. 70 00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:37,674 If Peralta loses, Santiago gets his car. 71 00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:41,044 If Santiago loses, she goes for a date in said car. 72 00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,079 Game on. 73 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,480 Game on. 74 00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:45,382 Wow, your handshake is quite firm. 75 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,415 I took a seminar. 76 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,451 Where? 77 00:02:47,485 --> 00:02:49,119 And the score is all tied up. 78 00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:50,887 But not for long. 79 00:02:50,888 --> 00:02:53,090 For in eight hours, I will win the bet 80 00:02:53,124 --> 00:02:54,758 and take Santiago on the worst date 81 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,193 in the history of the world. 82 00:02:56,194 --> 00:02:58,395 Attention. 83 00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,429 After today's shift, I'd like everyone 84 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,831 join me at the bar for drinks 85 00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,967 in honor of Detective Boyle and his medal of valor. 86 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,969 Oh, my God, is peanut butter gonna be there? 87 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:08,071 That horse is a damn hero. 88 00:03:08,106 --> 00:03:09,740 Peanut butter will not be joining us. 89 00:03:09,741 --> 00:03:12,376 He's being feted by the united nations. 90 00:03:12,410 --> 00:03:14,811 As you were. 91 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,014 Pen. You... ow! 92 00:03:17,015 --> 00:03:18,281 Rolly chair! 93 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,083 Gina's desk! Oh, Jake. 94 00:03:20,084 --> 00:03:22,085 No! 95 00:03:24,389 --> 00:03:25,455 Captain, hey. 96 00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:27,157 You're looking stoic today, 97 00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:29,659 like a wise old oak. 98 00:03:29,694 --> 00:03:31,294 I'm not gonna give you more cases 99 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,463 so you can win your bet with Santiago. 100 00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:35,132 What? Oh, right, the bet. 101 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,300 Totally forgot about that. 102 00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:38,935 Well, granted, this friendly competition 103 00:03:38,936 --> 00:03:41,204 has led to you and Santiago putting in more hours 104 00:03:41,205 --> 00:03:44,107 and arresting more perps, especially this last week. 105 00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:47,177 Up by one, Peralta. 106 00:03:47,211 --> 00:03:48,412 Anything you want to say to your car 107 00:03:48,413 --> 00:03:50,947 before you never see it again? Hmm? 108 00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:54,117 Hey, Santiago, do you have any dietary restrictions 109 00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,752 that medieval times should know about? 110 00:03:55,787 --> 00:03:57,187 Yes, 3-1-1? 111 00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:59,623 What's the safest way to set a car on fire? 112 00:03:59,624 --> 00:04:01,925 Ooh. Hmm! 113 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:04,194 Both of you have done exemplary work, 114 00:04:04,195 --> 00:04:05,429 which I appreciate. 115 00:04:05,463 --> 00:04:07,664 And I can see that by the absolutely no indicators 116 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:08,664 on your face. 117 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,267 However, you are colleagues, 118 00:04:10,268 --> 00:04:12,169 and the fallout from this bet has the potential 119 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:14,438 to put a strain on your professional relationship. 120 00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:15,939 Only if I lose. 121 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,174 I'm a terrible sport. 122 00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,042 Cases will be assigned as they usually are. 123 00:04:19,077 --> 00:04:22,079 Dismissed. 124 00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:28,418 Captain, you look... No. 125 00:04:32,423 --> 00:04:34,124 Rosa, hey, would you like to share 126 00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:35,325 a cup of coffee with me? 127 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,461 I got some gorgeous new coffee beans. 128 00:04:37,462 --> 00:04:38,829 Sure, that sounds great. 129 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:40,864 Isn't that, like, your fifth cup of coffee today? 130 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,199 I'm trying to counteract 131 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,234 the drowsiness from my pain meds. 132 00:04:44,235 --> 00:04:45,368 I took a double dose 133 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,504 after the incident at the ceremony. 134 00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:50,907 Bring peanut butter forward... forward. 135 00:04:50,908 --> 00:04:53,543 Uh, can the little guy take a big step back, please? 136 00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:54,945 My name is Charles Boyle. 137 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,214 I won the same medal as this horse. 138 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:00,951 The footage from my fall led the local news, 139 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,053 so who's the hero now, peanut butter? 140 00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,921 Peanut butter. 141 00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:07,290 Gina, you're just trying to hurt me 142 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,860 to distract yourself from your own internal pain. 143 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:12,729 Also, you should use less conditioner, 144 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,732 because this is a flat mess. 145 00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:18,034 What's going on with Boyle? 146 00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:19,569 His pain meds are making him weird. 147 00:05:19,604 --> 00:05:22,806 Oh, okay. Yes. 148 00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:23,907 This happened to my dad 149 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:26,243 when he got his vasectomy un-reversed. 150 00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:28,712 You get all relaxed and you have no filter 151 00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:31,148 and you just start dropping truth bombs on everyone. 152 00:05:31,182 --> 00:05:34,084 Oh, that explains the elevator. 153 00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:36,553 I'm worried you don't find me interesting. 154 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:39,122 I'm gonna pretend someone texted me. 155 00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:42,025 Bloop. 156 00:05:43,127 --> 00:05:45,862 Gina, please keep an eye on Boyle today. 157 00:05:45,863 --> 00:05:47,430 He's gonna say something to the wrong person 158 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,598 and get himself punched. 159 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,200 Sure, I'd love to see Charles get punched. 160 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,401 Try again? 161 00:05:51,402 --> 00:05:53,937 I will stop Charles from getting punched. 162 00:05:53,971 --> 00:05:54,971 Correct. 163 00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:57,607 Great. 164 00:05:58,609 --> 00:05:59,676 Ladies and gentlemen, 165 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:02,879 I present Carl Laudson, who stole $3,000. 166 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,415 Santiago takes the lead with one minute left. 167 00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:06,950 Suck it, Peralta. 168 00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:07,984 Oh, no. 169 00:06:07,985 --> 00:06:09,619 That's right, "oh, no." 170 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,021 Oh, no. You don't seem worried. 171 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,022 Why aren't you worried? 172 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,957 Bring in the Johns. 173 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,692 I ran a prostitution sting through vice 174 00:06:15,693 --> 00:06:17,727 and arrested 30 guys for soliciting. 175 00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:18,895 That's not a felony. 176 00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:20,263 It is when it's your second offense, 177 00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:22,799 which is the case for ten of these gentlemen. 178 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,002 Four of them are actually named John. 179 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,137 Ironic. 180 00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:28,738 Anyhoo, ten more for Peralta. 181 00:06:28,739 --> 00:06:29,739 Accept your fate. 182 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,807 Never. 183 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:35,845 Five, four, three, two, one. No. 184 00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:38,949 Jake wins, Amy loses. 185 00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:43,553 ♪ Celebrate good times come on! ♪ 186 00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:45,322 ♪ Let's celebrate 187 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,257 Look! 188 00:06:47,258 --> 00:06:51,828 ♪ Celebrate good times, come on! ♪ Whoo! 189 00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:54,431 Amy Santiago, you have made me 190 00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:56,199 the happiest man on earth. 191 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,368 I spent $1 on this ring. 192 00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:00,537 Will you go on the worst date ever with me? 193 00:07:00,538 --> 00:07:01,938 You have to say yes. 194 00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:03,139 Yes. 195 00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:05,175 She said yes! 196 00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,643 She said yes. 197 00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,679 This is for you. 198 00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:17,354 Amy Santiago, date time. 199 00:07:17,382 --> 00:07:18,783 Time to date. 200 00:07:18,784 --> 00:07:21,285 Peralta, this outfit is ridiculous. 201 00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:22,453 Chop chop. 202 00:07:22,454 --> 00:07:23,454 There's plenty of embarrassing to do 203 00:07:23,455 --> 00:07:27,391 and only a few hours to do it in. 204 00:07:27,392 --> 00:07:28,592 Happy? 205 00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:29,994 Oh, yeah. 206 00:07:29,995 --> 00:07:32,062 You look like every girl at every bat mitzvah 207 00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:33,330 I ever had a crush on. 208 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,499 Let's see the bow. 209 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,401 Just like Jenny Gildenhorn. 210 00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:38,803 Why do I wish you had braces? 211 00:07:38,804 --> 00:07:40,271 Should we get you braces? 212 00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,271 No, that's too much. 213 00:07:41,273 --> 00:07:44,508 Here I come. 214 00:07:44,509 --> 00:07:45,509 Nice shorts. 215 00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:46,510 Thank you. Believe it or not, 216 00:07:46,511 --> 00:07:47,778 they were not very expensive. 217 00:07:47,813 --> 00:07:49,547 Do I really have to wear this all night? 218 00:07:49,548 --> 00:07:50,581 You know the rules. 219 00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:52,016 The date starts now and ends at midnight. 220 00:07:52,017 --> 00:07:53,050 I decide what you wear, 221 00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:54,418 what you eat, and where we go. 222 00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:58,189 Oh, and there is one more rule. 223 00:07:58,190 --> 00:08:00,558 No matter what happens, 224 00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:02,626 you're not allowed to fall in love with me. 225 00:08:02,661 --> 00:08:05,663 Won't be a problem. 226 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,136 Detective Boyle, I just wanted to say congratulations. 227 00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:13,493 Your medal was well-deserved. 228 00:08:13,505 --> 00:08:14,738 Thank you, sir. 229 00:08:14,739 --> 00:08:16,140 Your breath is terrible. 230 00:08:16,141 --> 00:08:18,209 Charles, can I speak with you? 231 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,077 Hey, where's Rosa? 232 00:08:20,111 --> 00:08:21,712 I haven't seen her all night. 233 00:08:21,713 --> 00:08:23,280 Did you know my wife pays me alimony? 234 00:08:23,281 --> 00:08:25,416 Okay, let's take a seat. 235 00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,218 I'm gonna keep an eye on you all night, little buddy. 236 00:08:27,219 --> 00:08:28,419 Okay. Thanks. 237 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:29,420 Hey, baby. 238 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:32,256 Hey, baby. Happy you made it. 239 00:08:32,257 --> 00:08:34,792 Captain, I'd like you to meet my wife, Sharon. 240 00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:35,893 It's so wonderful to meet you. 241 00:08:35,894 --> 00:08:37,261 I've heard such great things about you. 242 00:08:37,262 --> 00:08:38,262 And you. 243 00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:40,030 Your husband is a real hero. 244 00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:41,398 If you ask me, he should've been up there 245 00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:42,533 with Detective Boyle today. 246 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,634 What for? 247 00:08:43,668 --> 00:08:45,483 For saving my life. 248 00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:48,105 He means metaphorically. 249 00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:49,940 You know, saving him from all that paperwork. 250 00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:52,157 Paper cuts are a slow death, baby. 251 00:08:52,177 --> 00:08:54,078 No, I was referring to how he threw his body 252 00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:55,579 at an emotionally disturbed criminal 253 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:56,780 who was trying to kill me. 254 00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:58,782 Nooo! 255 00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:03,487 He did what? 256 00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:06,713 Are you back in the field? 257 00:09:06,725 --> 00:09:08,859 Oh. I have caused a problem. 258 00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:12,863 I think I am... 259 00:09:12,864 --> 00:09:14,498 Getting a text message. 260 00:09:14,499 --> 00:09:15,766 Bloop. 261 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:19,270 Ah. There it is. 262 00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:20,852 Why is this the first I'm hearing about this? 263 00:09:20,872 --> 00:09:22,940 I thought I told you. 264 00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:24,708 Remember when you were half asleep 265 00:09:24,709 --> 00:09:26,443 watching the news and the babies were quiet, 266 00:09:26,444 --> 00:09:28,312 and I said, real low, "hey, baby. 267 00:09:28,313 --> 00:09:29,647 I'm back in the field. You want something to eat?" 268 00:09:29,648 --> 00:09:30,714 And you were like, "what?" 269 00:09:30,715 --> 00:09:31,916 And I was like, "you want something to eat?" 270 00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,183 And you said, "sure." 271 00:09:33,184 --> 00:09:35,825 And I got you an oatmeal cookie? 272 00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:37,121 Remember? 273 00:09:37,122 --> 00:09:39,990 You are a piece of work, Terrance. 274 00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:43,416 Oh, damn. She called me Terrance. 275 00:09:43,428 --> 00:09:45,696 I'm doomed. 276 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,534 Hot date coming through. 277 00:09:50,568 --> 00:09:53,003 Hey, attention, everyone. 278 00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:56,907 Now I know that tonight is Boyle's big night. 279 00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:02,413 But let's forget about that completely for a moment 280 00:10:02,447 --> 00:10:05,688 and admire and comment on every terrible aspect of this. 281 00:10:08,153 --> 00:10:09,776 Permission to go to the bathroom? 282 00:10:09,788 --> 00:10:11,322 Granted. First of three. 283 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,490 Use them wisely. 284 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,659 Hey. 285 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,794 Congrats again, buddy. 286 00:10:16,795 --> 00:10:18,395 I really am proud of you. 287 00:10:18,396 --> 00:10:19,897 Still wearing the medal, huh? 288 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:21,732 Yes, I want women to be impressed by me. 289 00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,968 All right. 290 00:10:24,002 --> 00:10:25,669 Well, I'm sorry that I can't stay, 291 00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:28,105 but I have a terrible night planned for Amy. 292 00:10:28,106 --> 00:10:30,307 First up is the mall photo studio, 293 00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:32,209 where we'll take our official date portrait. 294 00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:33,811 The picture will be the two of us 295 00:10:33,845 --> 00:10:35,512 playing one saxophone. 296 00:10:35,513 --> 00:10:37,815 Then some peel-and-eat shrimp for dinner 297 00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:40,284 at a dangerously cheap seafood restaurant. 298 00:10:40,285 --> 00:10:42,419 And then I've contracted a youth choir 299 00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:43,620 to serenade us. 300 00:10:43,655 --> 00:10:48,058 ♪ Santiago Santiago 301 00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:49,226 ♪ Santiago 302 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:50,260 ♪ Santiago ♪ 303 00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:52,863 ♪ You suck so bad 304 00:10:52,864 --> 00:10:53,964 Yes! 305 00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:55,599 They'll sing to her at midnight 306 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,034 the middle of Times Square. 307 00:10:57,035 --> 00:10:59,269 She and 500 German tourists 308 00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:01,171 will savor that memory for all times. 309 00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:02,706 Jake, do you know why little boys 310 00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:04,641 pull little girls' pigtails on playgrounds? 311 00:11:04,676 --> 00:11:05,776 'Cause they're so easy to grab. 312 00:11:05,777 --> 00:11:07,177 They're just begging to be pulled. 313 00:11:07,212 --> 00:11:08,445 Because they like the girls, 314 00:11:08,446 --> 00:11:09,446 and that's the only way they know 315 00:11:09,447 --> 00:11:10,414 how to get their attention. 316 00:11:10,448 --> 00:11:12,016 What are you saying? 317 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:14,351 All of this teasing, this elaborate date, 318 00:11:14,352 --> 00:11:16,286 somewhere down deep, you like Amy. 319 00:11:16,287 --> 00:11:17,521 Like, "like her," like her. 320 00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,523 Okay, that's straight-up insanity. 321 00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:20,891 How much did you spend on tonight? 322 00:11:20,925 --> 00:11:23,494 $1,400, but all of it's on credit cards, 323 00:11:23,495 --> 00:11:25,662 so it's, like, $5 a month for the next 2,000 years. 324 00:11:25,663 --> 00:11:26,764 I do not like Amy! 325 00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,599 You're putting a lot of effort into a joke. 326 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,700 Why don't you sit down 327 00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:30,701 and have a real conversation with her? 328 00:11:30,735 --> 00:11:32,236 Okay, Boyle, 329 00:11:32,237 --> 00:11:34,938 you live in your ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement. 330 00:11:34,939 --> 00:11:36,440 I'm not taking advice from you. 331 00:11:36,474 --> 00:11:37,608 Hup. 332 00:11:37,642 --> 00:11:41,412 I'm ashamed of my living situation. 333 00:11:41,446 --> 00:11:43,781 Rosa, why are you sequestered 334 00:11:43,815 --> 00:11:45,516 over by this old cell phone? 335 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,451 I'm avoiding Boyle and his truth bombs. 336 00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:51,955 I sometimes worry I'm gonna become you. 337 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,457 He keeps saying he wants to talk to me. 338 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:54,858 I'm afraid he's gonna tell me he loves me 339 00:11:54,859 --> 00:11:56,827 or propose marriage or something. 340 00:11:56,861 --> 00:11:57,961 Oh, my God. 341 00:11:57,962 --> 00:11:59,730 That makes me kind of want to cry. 342 00:11:59,731 --> 00:12:02,266 He dove in front of those bullets for me. 343 00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:03,500 I can't be mean to him. 344 00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:05,636 I watched him make coffee 345 00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,438 for 28 minutes this morning. 346 00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:08,872 But I also can't lead him on. 347 00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:11,175 Captain Holt told me not to let him get hurt tonight. 348 00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:14,178 So I'll keep him away from you. 349 00:12:15,246 --> 00:12:17,214 Have you seen Rosa? 350 00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:19,049 Rosa died eight years ago. 351 00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:22,152 Come on. Let's get you a drink. 352 00:12:22,187 --> 00:12:23,720 Excuse me, everyone. 353 00:12:23,755 --> 00:12:26,857 Santiago and I will be performing the steerage jig 354 00:12:26,858 --> 00:12:28,325 from the film Titanic, 355 00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:29,893 which we have prepared for 356 00:12:29,928 --> 00:12:31,495 in no way, shape, or form. 357 00:12:31,529 --> 00:12:32,529 Romantic. 358 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:33,831 No, embarrassing. 359 00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:35,332 Milady. 360 00:12:41,539 --> 00:12:43,340 You look pretty. I hate your guts. 361 00:12:43,341 --> 00:12:45,609 Channel that passion into the dance. 362 00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:47,644 Peralta. Scully, tag in. 363 00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:49,780 Okay. Keep spinning. 364 00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:51,882 Yes. One of our informants just called. 365 00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:52,883 We've been tracking a crew 366 00:12:52,884 --> 00:12:54,205 that lifts cargo out of Laguardia. 367 00:12:54,219 --> 00:12:55,853 The C.I. knows where the trucks unload, 368 00:12:55,854 --> 00:12:57,455 so I need you to stake out the drop site. 369 00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:59,923 Oh, sir, I'm right in the middle 370 00:12:59,924 --> 00:13:01,925 of this date and I cannot reschedule. 371 00:13:01,926 --> 00:13:04,628 I have far, far too many non-refundable deposits. 372 00:13:04,629 --> 00:13:06,864 I'm renting a tiger cub by the hour. 373 00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,432 For what? Don't even know. 374 00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:09,533 Waiting for inspiration. 375 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:12,035 Well, this is not a negotiation, so go. 376 00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:15,072 All right, fine, but I'm taking Santiago with me. 377 00:13:15,106 --> 00:13:17,508 As soon as we're done, it's back to the date. 378 00:13:17,509 --> 00:13:19,076 Darling. 379 00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:20,344 Brief pause. Duty calls. 380 00:13:20,345 --> 00:13:23,714 Oh, thank God. 381 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,948 Gina, tag in? 382 00:13:24,983 --> 00:13:27,284 No, not even if it would cure cancer. 383 00:13:27,318 --> 00:13:30,320 Okay. 384 00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,827 Look, baby, I'm sorry, 385 00:13:35,828 --> 00:13:38,396 but Captain's life was in danger. 386 00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:40,565 I just did what I had to do. 387 00:13:40,566 --> 00:13:42,667 It was an impulse decision. 388 00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:45,837 Well, I guess I can understand that. 389 00:13:45,838 --> 00:13:47,539 Sharon. 390 00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,640 I have to apologize. 391 00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:50,508 I want to assure you that the call 392 00:13:50,509 --> 00:13:51,843 to put sergeant Jeffords back in the field 393 00:13:51,844 --> 00:13:55,347 wasn't a spur-of-the-moment, impulse decision. 394 00:13:55,348 --> 00:13:57,949 It's been in the works for a few months now. 395 00:13:57,984 --> 00:14:01,620 Terry said it just happened. 396 00:14:01,621 --> 00:14:06,992 I think you two need to get your stories straight. 397 00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:10,462 Perhaps I should stop talking to your wife. 398 00:14:10,496 --> 00:14:12,797 That's a good call. Captain. 399 00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:14,733 Sharon. 400 00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:17,334 I'm so happy 401 00:14:17,336 --> 00:14:18,870 to be out of that dress. 402 00:14:18,871 --> 00:14:20,338 It was weirdly hot. 403 00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:21,539 Oh, yeah, it's probably because 404 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,541 it was a cotton and plastic blend. 405 00:14:23,576 --> 00:14:24,876 But not to worry. 406 00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:26,244 We're gonna catch these guys 407 00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:27,846 and get back to the worst date of your life. 408 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:28,914 No. 409 00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:30,048 Nothing will ever be worse 410 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,017 than the date I had with my aunt's dentist. 411 00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:33,318 You should try some of this. 412 00:14:33,352 --> 00:14:35,820 Okay. 413 00:14:35,821 --> 00:14:38,223 Oh. Okay. Hold on. Hmm? 414 00:14:38,257 --> 00:14:40,959 Yeah, dessert is out of the question. 415 00:14:42,194 --> 00:14:43,428 What was your worst date ever? 416 00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:45,931 I think it's, like, a 50-way tie. 417 00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:48,500 The last lady I went out with burst into tears 418 00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:51,169 when I told her I was a Gemini. 419 00:14:51,203 --> 00:14:52,404 Wow. 420 00:14:52,405 --> 00:14:54,572 Hey, those people left that door open. 421 00:14:54,573 --> 00:14:56,441 I bet there's a better vantage point from the roof. 422 00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:59,344 Mmm, and I bet it doesn't smell like old cheese. 423 00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:01,046 Okay, that's hurtful. 424 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,847 Shall we? Yeah. 425 00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:04,582 So what else don't I know? 426 00:15:04,617 --> 00:15:05,617 You cooking meth? 427 00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:06,618 You breaking bad? 428 00:15:06,619 --> 00:15:08,253 How many phones do you have? 429 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,188 I'm sorry, I need to clarify 430 00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:11,323 something I said earlier. 431 00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:13,058 Sergeant Jeffords was correct 432 00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:14,659 when he said that his choice to go back 433 00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:17,128 in the field that night was an impulse decision. 434 00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:19,698 He didn't even take the time to stop and gear up, so... 435 00:15:19,699 --> 00:15:20,699 What? So... 436 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,267 You didn't have your vest on? 437 00:15:22,301 --> 00:15:24,636 Oh, no. Oh, goodness. 438 00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:25,971 I shouldn't have said that. 439 00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,472 I feel I may have made things worse. 440 00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:29,574 Wait. I can fix this, Ray. 441 00:15:29,608 --> 00:15:31,409 Now is not the time, Boyle. Hush! 442 00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:32,911 I want to hear this. 443 00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:34,312 Boyle, let's not make big... Hush. 444 00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:36,114 Truth time. 445 00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,449 We love your husband. 446 00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,449 He's a great cop. 447 00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,518 We will do anything to protect him. 448 00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:42,988 And you have incredibly attractive hands. 449 00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,956 And you, what the hell are you doing, 450 00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:46,091 lying to your wife? 451 00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,459 Unless you want to end up moving 452 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,361 into my ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement with me, 453 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,829 you better man up. 454 00:15:50,863 --> 00:15:52,564 Don't you ever keep anything 455 00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:53,999 from this beautiful woman again. 456 00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:56,001 Seriously, you are beautiful. 457 00:15:56,035 --> 00:15:57,635 Oh. If he ever lies to you again, 458 00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:00,405 you can call me. 459 00:16:00,406 --> 00:16:02,240 I'm sorry, honey. 460 00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:03,575 I just didn't want you to worry. 461 00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:06,277 Baby, I am always gonna worry about you. 462 00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:07,479 But if you feel like you're ready, 463 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,980 then get your ass back in the field. 464 00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:12,217 But if you ever keep anything from me again, 465 00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:14,853 I will leave you for this short, earnest man 466 00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:16,621 and his ex-wife's new boyfriend's apartment. 467 00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:17,822 I know you're kidding, 468 00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,991 but Hercules is actually a very good landlord. 469 00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:21,993 Sometimes, when they go on nice vacations, 470 00:16:21,994 --> 00:16:23,561 I'm allowed to use the hot tub. 471 00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:28,166 Man, I don't know how Batman does it. 472 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,701 It is super scary up here. 473 00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:31,036 Hey, will you grab the binoculars? 474 00:16:31,037 --> 00:16:32,337 They're in my stakeout bag. 475 00:16:32,371 --> 00:16:35,373 Your stakeout bag is 98% nuts. 476 00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:36,441 I get snacky. 477 00:16:36,475 --> 00:16:38,009 Besides, nuts are super healthy. 478 00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,344 They're, like, 0% fat. 479 00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:41,513 Jake, that's not true at all. 480 00:16:41,514 --> 00:16:43,615 It's actually the opposite. 481 00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,651 What? That nut vendor lied to me. 482 00:16:48,387 --> 00:16:50,422 I think a pigeon just flew out of your car. 483 00:16:50,423 --> 00:16:51,523 Yeah. 484 00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:53,358 The windows don't exactly roll up. 485 00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:54,826 The car's a piece of crap. 486 00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:57,929 Why do you love it so much? 487 00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,398 You really want to know? 488 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,068 I was two days out of the academy, super nervous. 489 00:17:03,069 --> 00:17:04,469 Saw this guy run out of a bodega, 490 00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:05,503 clutching a bunch of cash. 491 00:17:05,504 --> 00:17:08,907 So I pursued him on foot, 11 blocks. 492 00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:11,076 Finally catch him, cuff him, 493 00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:14,479 throw him up against that car. 494 00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:16,514 Turned out there was a for sale sign in the window, 495 00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:18,850 and, it being the best day of my life, I bought it. 496 00:17:18,884 --> 00:17:21,853 Thus began the debt. 497 00:17:21,854 --> 00:17:23,088 Crushing debt. 498 00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:25,190 Yeah, you do know me. 499 00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:26,891 Nut? 500 00:17:26,892 --> 00:17:28,059 Only if you throw it. 501 00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:29,661 Ready? Ready? 502 00:17:29,662 --> 00:17:32,897 Mm-hmm. Nice. 503 00:17:32,898 --> 00:17:36,634 You ready? Uh-huh. 504 00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:41,272 What are you doing? 505 00:17:41,273 --> 00:17:42,640 Trying to catch it in your nose? 506 00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:45,510 I got it, I got it, I got it. 507 00:17:45,511 --> 00:17:47,245 It's Holt. Keep practicing. 508 00:17:47,246 --> 00:17:48,580 Okay. 509 00:17:48,581 --> 00:17:49,581 Peralta. 510 00:17:49,582 --> 00:17:50,648 Oh, good news, Peralta. 511 00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:51,749 I found someone from the night shift 512 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,184 to relieve you on your stakeout. 513 00:17:53,219 --> 00:17:55,820 Ooh. Still make Times Square. 514 00:17:55,821 --> 00:17:58,690 Um... 515 00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:01,192 You know, Captain, hold off on the relief team. 516 00:18:01,193 --> 00:18:02,560 We're already here. 517 00:18:02,561 --> 00:18:04,028 Plus I'm curious to see what happens. 518 00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:05,396 Okay, it's your call. 519 00:18:05,397 --> 00:18:06,664 All right. 520 00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,335 What did Holt want? 521 00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:11,569 Just checking in. 522 00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:12,651 How you doing? Any progress? 523 00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:16,641 Yep. Watch. 524 00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:18,643 The key is volume. I see that. 525 00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:21,688 So be honest. 526 00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:22,723 If you'd won the bet, 527 00:18:22,724 --> 00:18:23,890 were you really gonna destroy my car? 528 00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:27,194 No. I was gonna drive it. 529 00:18:27,195 --> 00:18:28,562 So I could learn stick. 530 00:18:28,596 --> 00:18:30,664 You wouldn't. 531 00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:32,466 I would. Would've been, like, 532 00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:36,003 No. No! 533 00:18:36,004 --> 00:18:38,672 Hey, hey! 534 00:18:38,673 --> 00:18:39,673 There's our guys. 535 00:18:39,674 --> 00:18:41,274 What's the play here? 536 00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:42,476 Just follow my lead. 537 00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:45,212 Give me the ring. 538 00:18:45,246 --> 00:18:46,613 Now give me some nuts. 539 00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:49,182 I'm snacky. 540 00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:51,018 All right, fine, darling. 541 00:18:51,019 --> 00:18:52,586 I'll ask him. Will that make you happy? 542 00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:53,587 Excuse me, sir. 543 00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:54,755 We're kind of busye. 544 00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:56,990 Yeah, my girlfriend, here, thinks we're lost. 545 00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:58,759 No, I know we're lost. 546 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,427 I think he's an idiot. Idiot? 547 00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:01,595 You know why we're out here 548 00:19:01,629 --> 00:19:03,563 in the middle of the night, Susan? 549 00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:04,998 I was gonna propose to you. 550 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,801 On the Brooklyn bridge, where we met. 551 00:19:07,802 --> 00:19:08,869 Brooklyn bridge? 552 00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,103 We met on the Manhattan bridge. 553 00:19:10,138 --> 00:19:12,272 You know what? This is over. 554 00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:14,574 Say good-bye to the ring and everything it represents. 555 00:19:15,977 --> 00:19:17,745 You son of a bitch! 556 00:19:17,746 --> 00:19:19,679 Hey, hey. Stop yelling 557 00:19:19,714 --> 00:19:21,415 hey, no one talks to Susan like that. 558 00:19:21,416 --> 00:19:23,083 And you know what else? On the ground! NYPD! NYPD! 559 00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,618 You're under arrest. 560 00:19:24,652 --> 00:19:25,819 Nice work. 561 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,220 You too. 562 00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:29,456 I'm sad y'all are arresting me, 563 00:19:29,457 --> 00:19:33,464 but I gotta say, I'm glad you're back together. 564 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,732 Hey. I need to talk to you. 565 00:19:38,733 --> 00:19:41,768 Oh. It's happening? 566 00:19:41,769 --> 00:19:43,837 Remember when I took those bus for you? 567 00:19:43,838 --> 00:19:45,238 Okay, let's do this. 568 00:19:45,239 --> 00:19:46,606 I think you're sweet... 569 00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,341 I didn't know it was you. 570 00:19:48,376 --> 00:19:50,610 When I jumped in front of those bullets, 571 00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:52,879 I didn't know who I was protecting. 572 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,981 I just saw a gun and an NYPD vest, 573 00:19:54,982 --> 00:19:56,716 and so I dove on instinct. 574 00:19:56,751 --> 00:19:58,185 You've been extra nice to me 575 00:19:58,186 --> 00:19:59,786 because you thought I'd risked my life for you. 576 00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:03,690 But I only did what every good cop would do. 577 00:20:03,691 --> 00:20:06,259 When you finally go out with me, and you will, 578 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:07,561 it'll be because I do things 579 00:20:07,562 --> 00:20:11,565 that only Charles Boyle would do. 580 00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:18,271 Um, actually, I have a coat in here. 581 00:20:18,272 --> 00:20:21,208 It's, uh... it's, like... actually, I see it. 582 00:20:21,209 --> 00:20:23,050 It's, like... it's blue... it's, like, right... 583 00:20:25,346 --> 00:20:27,280 Excellent job on the stakeout last night. 584 00:20:27,315 --> 00:20:29,783 I'm glad to see you two still work well together 585 00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,251 despite that ridiculous bet. 586 00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:32,919 Thanks. Me too. 587 00:20:32,954 --> 00:20:35,288 And I appreciate your turning down the relief team. 588 00:20:35,289 --> 00:20:37,657 I'm not sure they could've made that bust. 589 00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:39,392 Yeah. Right. 590 00:20:39,393 --> 00:20:41,995 The relief team. 591 00:20:42,029 --> 00:20:46,500 So... sorry you lost so much money last night. 592 00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:48,835 Guess you can add it to your list of bad dates. 593 00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:51,738 Nah, it still goes on the good date list. 594 00:20:51,739 --> 00:20:55,008 You know, 'cause we caught the bad guys. 595 00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:56,243 That's very mature of you. 596 00:20:56,277 --> 00:20:58,278 Well, I am very mature man. 597 00:20:58,312 --> 00:21:00,614 Package for Amy Santiago. 598 00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:01,781 That's me. 599 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:05,051 Special delivery from Jake Peralta to say, 600 00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:06,386 "thanks for last night." 601 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,054 Oh, no. I forgot to cancel. 602 00:21:08,089 --> 00:21:09,489 ♪ Here I am 603 00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:11,424 Cancel what? Sir, you don't have to... 604 00:21:11,425 --> 00:21:13,460 Okay. 605 00:21:13,461 --> 00:21:16,096 Okay. All right, so... 606 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,031 Uhh... eugh! 607 00:21:18,032 --> 00:21:19,366 Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 608 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:20,433 All right, stepping in, stepping in. 609 00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:22,869 I'll take this bullet for you. 610 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:24,604 Ugh. Hitchcock, what are you doing? 611 00:21:24,639 --> 00:21:27,240 I thought... aren't we all gonna... no? 612 00:21:27,241 --> 00:21:31,283 Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00